Mister Trouble never hangs around when he hears this Mighty sound: "Here I come to save the day." That means that Mighty Mouse is on the way!

He gets the situation well in hand!

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Today, Friends Ken and James dragged me to a movie theater to watch

78/2510. Superman (2025)

It's the first time I've seen Superman in a theater since Superman Returns (which I really, strongly dislike). And I have to say... it's okay.

To explain why my rating is more-or-less "meh," may I remind you that a few years ago, there was a then-new movie adaptation of the book Emma (which I really, strongly love). But the reviewers for that movie kept harping on how accurate to the Jane Austen source material it was, which, in hindsight, only proved that they themselves weren't particularly familiar with the source material. Maybe they read the Cliff's Notes version.

This Superman is kind of like that.

Sure, it's got a lot of silly comic-booky elements, but it really is a typically James Gunn script that isn't particularly interested in being accurate to any characterizations, stories, or even costumes that have ever appeared in the pages of any DC Comics. (Particularly Krypto. I just couldn't get past Krypto being a shaggy, simple-minded dog. In the comics, he is neither, and, as much as I love dogs, this movie never gives me a reason to forget that. And don't even get me started on the character assassination of Supergirl in service to what must have been a Superboy and the Ravers fanboy in-joke.)

All the reviews for the movie, both good and bad, praise both Lois Lane and Krypto. I certainly agree about Rachel Brosnahan, who was as underused as Lois always is, but I find it surprising that more aren't singling out Mister Terrific being terrific (in a modern take of a blaxploitation superhero). There are several moments where it actually feels like his movie and I am there for it.

But I recognize that all of the things I have to complain about are more a feature than a bug of these sorts of blockbuster movies, especially in the superhero genre. Gunn's muddled plot moves real fast and hopes you wont notice that nothing really lines up, a fact that Gunn himself lampoons with a final post-credit scene. If that sort of tongue-in-cheek metafictional humor floats your boat, this is definitely for you.

Even though Superman often seems superfluous in his own movie, it still is the best live-action Superman film in 40 years. Take that however you will.

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Batman #219, February 1970

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December is over, so it's past time I started wrapping up movies watched in the last month of 2019. Here's the first batch.

204. (1643.) They Call Me Mister Tibbs! (1970)
The sequel to In the Heat of the Night feels like it takes place in a different universe. That's not to say that this detective story (about finding the real killer of a dead call girl) is bad, exactly, just that it would probably work better if this wasn't supposed to be the same character.

Not a lot to choose from in that soda pop machine, guys.

205. (1644.) The Three Musketeers (1948)
This was the Gene Kelly version, and it may be my least favorite of all I've seen (which is, let's see, this, plus the 1921, 1973, 1993, and 2011 versions). Kelly seems too... *gay* for the role of D'Artagnan, and I mean that in the traditional 1940s MGM musical sense of the word. Watch him dance-fence, and you'll see what I mean.

206. (1645.) Tapeheads (1988)
The spiritual predecessor of Will Ferrell movies. I'd've loved this in high school. (Note: Tim Robins played the art nerd here the same year he was a hotshot pitcher in Bull Durham. Boy had range!)

207. (1646.) Bring Me the Head of Alfredo Garcia (1974)
A small-time crook gets mixed up in a meandering, hapless bounty hunt for a man who is already dead. It doesn't end well for anyone involved, including the dead man and especially the viewer. Obviously, I'm not a fan.

Also bring me a Coke!

208. (1647.) Phase IV (1974)
Science fiction fable about how humanity's hubris results in its death at the hands of super-smart ants. I mean, considering how many ants I've killed in my backyard, I guess we all have it coming.

Obviously you can't make a movie about an army of ants without a sugary beverage.

More to come.

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Movies from February (that aren't Aurora Teagarden mysteries), part 1:

21. (1460.) Young Mister Lincoln (1939)
Henry Fonda as Abraham Lincoln has its moments (most of them being Fonda's plainspoken impersonation). Unfortunately, the courtroom drama in the second half isn't very engaging.

26. (1465.) CBGB (2013)
This is also a biopic, focused on the rise of the famous club in New York City that launched the American punk scene, especially Blondie and the Ramones. I'm a fan of the music and the actors involved, so of course I liked it.

28. (1467.) Sherlock Gnomes (2018)
A worthy sequel to the underrated Gnomeo and Juliet. I solved the mystery plot easily, which means I'm probably ready to graduate to tween fare. (It's an animated kids movie featuring talking lawn gnomes, not a sequel to Gone Girl, Walter.)

29. (1468.) Young Winston (1972)
Sort of the opposite of Young Lincoln, Winston Churchill as a young man in his own words really doesn't get moving until the second half, which may also be an apt description of the man's actual career.

31. (1470.) The Accountant (2016)
I found star Ben Affleck's portrayal of autism as a super power to be the only thing that didn't work in this otherwise enjoyable action thriller. (To be clear: the concept isn't so terrible. Affleck's acting is.) The supporting cast is particularly good.

34. (1473.) Young Tom Edison (1940)
If you didn't know that the real Tom Edison died in 1931, you might think he wrote and directed this ridiculously glowing biopic of his younger days himself. What fools we all are to not recognize what a great human being Tom Edison was! That was sarcasm. I didn't care for this.

More to come.

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The 25 actors and directors nominated in their categories at tonight's Academy Awards will receive a gift bag worth a reported $100,000. That sounds like a lot, but it's really a load of crap.

Thirty percent of that total is a coupon for plastic surgery. About half are coupons for food, vacations, and self-help sessions. Most of the rest are beauty products or drugs (chocolate, cannabis-infused edibles, and absinthe). There's also a book, a bracelet, a bow tie, and a plunger. But it's not just any plunger! It's the Mister Poop Fully Functional Plunger!

But wait, that's not all! According to their press release:

"The Oscar® nominees receiving gift bags will each get a Mister Poop Toilet Plunger, and a T-Shirt emblazoned, "Crappy Products that Really Work'."

That beats their first draft: "I was nominated for an Oscar® and all I got was this lousy t-shirt promoting a shitty plunger."

The release goes on to warn us announce that the manufacturers, who paid a minimum of $4,000 just to have their products included in the gift bags, are "in talks" with retailers about shelving their products. (They do know that there is already a poo-shaped plunger on the market, don't they?)

Mister Poop Plungers and Toilet Brushes, coming soon to a 7-Eleven near you.

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Damn, 2017 was a rough year. Death, destruction, disharmony encroached from all sides.

As usual this time of year, I listen to the past for signs of where we can go from here. This is what I heard the past saying:

Baby, I don't understand
why we can't just hold on
to each other's hands.

This time will be the last,
I fear, unless I make it all too clear:
I need you so.

Take these broken wings
and learn to fly again.
Learn to live so free.

When we hear the voices sing,
the book of love will open up
and let us in.

So deep! Obviously these "broken wings" are a metaphor for our culture's injured psyche, a malady we can best heal by coming together and singing. Thank you so much for sharing your ageless wisdom, Mr. Mister.

Here's hoping 2018 is the best year ever. (Or at the very least, that it's better than 2017.)

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With September comes football, but I still managed to watch a bunch of movies! Here's the first half of the bunch.

154. (691.) The Children's Hour (1961)
This movie deserves extra credit for trying to tackle a subject it refuses to explicitly describe. (The "L" word.) I was lukewarm on this predictable suspense/melodrama, but the final scene sold me. Also, I'm not much of a Shirley MacLaine fan, but she was a hottie in her youth!

155. (692.) Pillow Talk (1959)
Ugh. Rock Hudson: "Me man. You woman. Me take you to my cave!" Doris Day: "Oh-kay!" Ugh. Seriously, everyone involved in making this film — including the audience — should be embarrassed.

156. (693.) Fourteen Hours (1951)
We spend the entire movie waiting to see if a man will commit suicide by jumping off a building. The best part isn't the drama on the ledge but the bystander's reactions. (This film reminded my of 2002's Phone Booth, but for the life of me, I don't know why.)

157. (694.) Assault on Precinct 13 (1976)
Ah, John Carpenter can do no wrong. No, I take that back: Ghosts of Mars, which borrows too many elements from this earlier, far superior bit of fluff.

158. (695.) 36 Hours (1965)
This was a G.I.Joe episode! Part suspense, part thriller, all good.

159. (696.) Darby's Rangers (1958)
Part bio-pic, part propaganda, all boring.

160. (697.) The Split (1968)
I love heist films, but not this one. I mean, it's okay, especially the footage of the Atlanta Falcons playing the L.A. Rams in 1968, but the protagonist — one Jim Brown — is very hard to like. I got the impression that when Gene Hackman arrived very late in the picture, he was the real hero.

161. (698.) Mister Buddwing (1966)
This movie felt like a rejected Twilight Zone script, as James Garner wanders around New York in search of his true identity. It's not an especially memorable film, but there are some pretty girls, including Suzanne Pleshette, Katharine Ross, Jean Simmons, and Nichelle Nichols. New York is apparently populated exclusively by beautiful people. Who knew?

More to come.

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I went out of town for 2 weeks in August, but I still had time to watch 22 movies. So let's start knocking them out.

129. (436.) Hollywood Hotel (1937)
This movie is the original source for the song "Hooray for Hollywood." The song kicks off the movie, and quite frankly, is the best thing about it. (The rest of the movie isn't bad. It's just not as good as the opening scene.) I hate it when movies give you their best scene up front. I'm always left disappointed that I spend the next two hours waiting for something better than the opener. Oh, well. I guess since everyone knows the song but not this movie, it all worked out in the end.

130. (437.) Oldboy (2003)
Watched on the recommendation of a friend because an American remake is in the works. I don't know that I care to see it again. The movie cheats its storytelling. This is a necessary deception. If it were to be honest, the "shock" of the climax would be ruined. I don't know if the discovery of the climactic revelation soured me on the movie, but I found the post-climax events to be the worst part of the film.

131. (438.) Double Harness (1933)
William Powell can salvage the most boring movies. I paid more time watching costumes and kitchen appliances than I did to the one-note story. If it wasn't for Powell, I wouldn't have gotten through it at all.

132. (439.) True Grit (2010)
I respect the Brothers Coen, but this isn't better than the John Wayne version. Who thought it a good idea that Jeff Bridges mumble all his lines?

133. (440.) Hail the Conquering Hero (1944)
I know I've said it before, but Preston Sturges really can do no wrong.

134. (441.) Expendables 2 (2012)
Stupid, straightforward action flick. They may all be old men, but seeing Schwarzenegger, Stallone, and Willis share screen time during a firefight is surprisingly satisfying.

135. (442.) Dylan Dog: Dead of Night (2010)
Another derivative "monsters live among us" movie, a la Hellboy, Men in Black, Twilight, and Underworld. A detective to the underworld? I think I wrote some similar fan fiction when I was in high school. That said, Brandon Routh is very likable.

136. (443.) The Hunger Games (2012)
Speaking of derivative....

137. (444.) Mister Roberts (1955)
I tried to watch this last year and couldn't get past the first 30 minutes. (I am no fan of Jack Lemmon.) I picked it back up where I left off and watched the rest of it. I still don't really like it, but at least I've seen it. (The ending feels particularly unnecessary, but then so does almost all teh rest of it.)

138. (445.) Jersey Girls (2004)
So Ben Affleck is going to be Batman? Really? In this movie he jokingly calls his street sweeper the Batmobile. I know the line was a joke, but if it is any indication of Affleck's Batman, I think I can do without.

139. (446.) The Benchwarmers (2006)
Dad recommended it. It was better than I was expecting. I'm pretty sure that's not saying much. Let's just say that Rob Schneider as the former high school jock/bully stretched suspension of disbelief a little too far, even for an Adam Sandler farce.

Eleven more coming soon.

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After leaving Sandusky, Trey, Leslie, and I headed south to Columbus. With some time to kill before the soccer game would start, we decided to follow a lead provided by our party planner, Brian. We headed directly towards the Columbus Zoo and Aquarium, or as Brian described it, "Jack Hanna's zoo." This nickname is a little misleading; as I was disappointed to learn, you won't find Jack Hanna in any of the cages.

It was well over 90° in the midday sun, and most of the animals were smart enough to be lounging in whatever shade they could find. Naturally, our first objective was the polar bear enclosure.

Surprisingly, the polar bear was one of the only animals in the zoo that seemed completely indifferent to the heat. Perhaps that's because they had their own water park, fully stocked with toys and snacks. The other bears at the park, including the sun bear (seen below), had to settle for water misters. Personally, I'd take a swimming pool over a Willy Water Bug any day.

The zoo was full of exotic animals I'd never seen before, but from the pictures I took, you'd think it only had bears. There are red pandas, Asian lions, West Indian manatees, and Komodo dragons, to name just a few. But really, the highlight of the zoo was the great apes, the gibbons, gorillas, and bonobos. Many of the zoo's primates are very human, some making a sincere attempt to communicate with the visitors, while others just pointed and laughed. Generally, I'm no fan of the ape, but I have to say that the Columbus Zoo's apes acted more human than some of the visitors.

Even with every creature great and small napping, the visit was still very much worth the time and expense ($15 per person, plus $7 parking). In hindsight, I wish we had more time to spend.

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