My aunt's contribution to our Thanksgiving feast included stuffing, chocolate ice cream, and three dozen sugar cookies bought from the Kroger bakery.

The others ate the stuffing and ice cream. I ate the cookies. All of the cookies.

To be honest, I ate too many cookies. I don't know what Kroger put in them, but each was more delicious than the last. I. Just. Couldn't. Stop. Now I'm going through cookie withdrawal.

I thought I was through the worst of it when Mom went grocery shopping today... and returned with another three dozen cookies.

"I came around the aisle," she said, "and there they were, the only cookies on the table. The last batch. They wouldn't have been there if I wasn't supposed to buy them and bring them home for you."

So that's my Mom, who thinks that fate is trying to bring me and cookies together. Fate is not the boss of me! I'm an independent, rational, strong-willed individual. I can resist the allure of a basket of sweet, sweet sugar cookies.

DAMN YOU, COOKIES!

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Something to think about when you're done with your turkey and watching the Saints beat up on the Falcons tonight:

Kickoffs are simultaneously the most dangerous and most boring plays in football. To make the game safer for the players and more exciting for the fans, some propose replacing the kickoff with a punt. The solution, they say, isn't a big change. Just give the kicking team the ball at the 35 yard line as is currently done, and run a regular punt play. This solves the problem of two teams running at each other from opposite ends of the field, XFL-style. The obvious problem with this solution is that it eliminates the opportunity for an onside kick to allow the kicking team to retain possession. (Punting rules prohibit the kicking team from possessing the ball unless the receiving team has touched and dropped it.)

Former Rutgers coach Greg Schiano, who is a proponent of replacing the kickoff with a punt, suggested an onside kick replacement in 2011. Line up the teams at the 35 just as you would for a punt, he says, and give them the option of throwing a pass instead. If the pass is complete for more than 15 yards downfield, they get to keep going as though they had recovered an onside kick. (Otherwise, the "receiving" team gets the ball at the spot of the catch or the line of scrimmage if incomplete.) The obvious problem with Schiano's suggestion is that teams with high-powered offenses may never have to relinquish the ball at all. That's not an improvement to the current formula, as it only makes games more lopsided.

I like what Schiano's thinking, but I think it could work better with one small change: make the punter be the one to have to throw the ball. This makes a post-score "kick-off" just another play from the line of scrimmage but with dedicated personnel. The game gets safer without overbalancing to offense while still allowing occasional trick plays in late-game cases where maintaining possession is necessary. Win-win!

There, now. Wasn't that a more fun Thanksgiving table discussion topic than politics? You're welcome.

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If you're a Kindle reader looking for a way to kill some time this Thanksgiving, I've got a present for you.

Until November 26, you can download digital copies of my second and third books for free from Amazon.com.

Happy Thanksgiving and Merry Black Friday, everybody.

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On Wednesday, while working in the kitchen to prepare for Thanskgiving — Mom's out of town and somehow I became responsible for feeding Those She Left Behind — I accidentally stepped on July's paw. As ususal, she was laying in the middle of the kitchen floor, and I didn't see her. It's proving a costly oversight.

She limped throughout the evening Wednesday and resolutely kept the paw away from me. I assumed at the time that I'd simply stepped on her paw. An inspection on Thursday revealed that I'd actualy stepped on the claw, breaking it at the pad. Yee-ouch.

You know you've got a good vet when he takes time out of his Thanksgiving Day vacation to respond to your desperate texts for treatment advice. He was in South Carolina for the holiday, but he told me how to treat it until the clinic reopened for business on Saturday. Those two days felt like an eternity.

This morning, the vet that I saw (my vet still being out of town) told me that the break was as bad as I'd feared. July was prescribed a proactive course of antibiotics to begin immediately and has been scheduled for surgery to remove the nail and the dead tissue around it on Monday.

So that's latest holiday horror story: I stepped on my child's foot and broke it. You're up next, Christmas. Hit me with your best shot.

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