Showing 1 - 10 of 26 posts found matching keyword: piles of shit

Still looking for that last minute stocking stuffer? How about some poo!

Color me bad

This is a vinyl "statue" designed to give to children 3 and up to color in with the provided markers (blue, red, and, yes, brown).

Merry Christmas, kids!

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Finally! An appropriate thing to be made in the shape of a poo emoji!

What would you name an unhappy poo?

Go ahead. Squeeze it.

"Best for photo ops" it says. I mean, yeah, I suppose if you are determined to take a photo of your dog eating poo, better this than the real thing.

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As if being pegged by a dodgeball wasn't bad enough...

Even your poo is special!

Thanks for nothing, Aldi.

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It's poo! It's a unicorn! It's a Poonicorn!

What's purple and smells and sits ignored in the corner?

What will they think of next? I hope I don't find out.

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New school year.

Excuse me, miss

I think you're sitting on something

Look into the face of madness!

Same old shit.

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Maybe I'm just jealous that they didn't sell poop-shaped toys when I was three years old, but no. Just no.

I *wouldn't* buy that for a dollar

I don't know what's wrong with kids in 2019. Back in my day, everyone came with their own poop slime formula.

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Dad update: he's now in his third hospital in as many weeks.

First he had heart surgery in Atlanta to replace a malfunctioning mitral valve. He came home for a couple of days before shortness of breath took him to the emergency room in Newnan. They diagnosed him with atrial fibrillation, a relatively common complication, and sent him to Fayetteville to have a pacemaker installed.

Doctors say he should be fine. I agree. He's already proven that for a guy with a bad heart, Dad can really get around.

Meanwhile, this side-effects poster was on the wall of his third room:

Someone in hospital administration is an Osmosis Jones fan

A closer look reveals a very familiar "face."

This is why nurses wear gloves

EVEN IN HOSPITALS.

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When I started this series of posts, I thought that the shit emoji must be a fad that would lose its appeal over time. I was wrong.

That kid must feel so much relief

Yes, I showed you a floating pile of shit last year, but that one was recommended for ages 9 and up. This one is suitable for 7-year-olds. Next year expect shit-shaped water wings.

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I helped a friend do some work around his house last week, and I spotted this, the tumbler he uses to hold his 6-year-old daughter's juice.

Put your lips on this

Normally, when I see this sort of thing, I'm left wondering what the owner could be thinking. However, I've known Randy long enough to know that this isn't a thoughtless accident. He probably gets a kick out of watching his little girl suck shit.

I suppose if you have a child, you get to decide what to do with it. Kids are just pets that can talk!

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What should you give your loved one for Earth Day? How about leftover valentines, 50% off!

Give me one of these and it becomes a 'Friendship Ending Kit'

I mean, I know I'm old and out of touch, but I cannot imagine what would happen if I had given one of these to a classmate when I was in elementary school.

On the other hand, no would have had any problem if I'd a water gun in my backpack. *shrug*

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To be continued...

 

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