I know that it's still Football and Batman Month, but this movie rundown has no Batman or Football content in it. Sorry about that. I'll try harder next year.

109/2118. We Met in Virtual Reality (2022)
This documentary shines such a colorful spotlight on some of the most virtuous and positive aspects of the virtual reality metaverse that it often feels like a sales pitch. If I didn't already have decades of personal experience that the reality seldom matches the brochure, I might have been swept away. Still, it *is* nice to think that someday maybe we *can* build such a utopia. (If you ask me, no place can be a paradise without Coca-Cola.)

110/2119. Hollywood Shuffle (1987)
Robert Townsend created a very funny movie about the very serious problem the American movie industry has representing Black people on film. It's very good.

111/2120. Promising Young Woman (2020)
I like a good revenge movie, and this is a great revenge movie especially because instead of terrorists or mafia, the villains are apologists for boys-will-be-boys sexual misconduct. It also helps that the cast is chock full of talented comedic actors, an unusual casting choice that really underlines the theme of a two-faced society. Recommended.

112/2121. Danger Lights (1930)
The "danger lights" in the title are railroad markers that warn engineers of obstructions on the track. In this case, the danger is a love triangle. It's not a great film, but it does have some great shots of period railroads. Consider it an historical curiosity.

113/2122. Licorice Pizza (2021)
A very episodic story of a May/December romance based on actual events in early 1970s Los Angeles, Licorice Pizza gets by largely on the freshness of its lead actors. As you must know by now, I'm a sucker for coming-of-age stories, even when the outcome of the love story seems completely unearned.

Paradise is a 1970s analog radio booth.

More to come.

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Everytime I'm about ready to swear off visiting Twitter forever, I find something like this that changes my mind:

I really miss those moralizing PSAs at the end of television shows so common in the 70s and 80s. I guess they did their job so well that we don't need them anymore. Thanks, He-Man!

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Note to self:

I'M NOT WRONG! YOU'RE WRONG!

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Sometimes you go looking for something on the web and you find it.

Sometimes you don't find what you were looking for but you do find something far, far better. Something like this:

Twitter helpfully describes this image in their version of a 404 Page Not Found response as "A primped poodle with a bow in its hair sitting in a chair like a human."

Well, of course! How else is a poodle supposed to sit in a chair? (Perhaps like this. Or maybe like this. I guess my point here is there's no wrong way to seat a poodle.)

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For the past two days in a row, the Internet has gone out at about midnight and remained off for the rest of the night. As a night owl who makes money working online overnight, that has been a real problem for me. I don't know what my ISP is doing or whether the same thing will happen tonight, but just in case, I'm typing this as fast as I ca

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💩 (🍜-N)

"poo"("noodle"-"n")

"poooodle"

I may have spent too much time alone. I'm beginning to think the entire Internet is sending coded messages just to me.

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Friday, the President of the United States had an hour long press conference to reassure the American population about his government's response to the Coronavirus outbreak. He told us Google was helping the administration develop a screening website to advise users on their symptoms. He said Google had 1700 engineers working on the site, and it would be done quickly, unlike the troubled roll-out of Heathcare.gov. He had his Coronavirus Response Coordinator show a chart detailing the process the website would use.

One day later it has been revealed that there is no website.

Yeah, my confidence is restored.

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If Friday's post let you feeling a little dirty, I also got you some soap!

Spotted on Twitter.com, where someone posted a response image of shit-shaped car air fresheners.

(Seriously, the frequent association between the poo emoji and chocolate just because both of them are brown probably says everything you need to know about the modern American consumer.)

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Happy Valentine's Day! I got you some candy.

Love, American style.

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I'm starting to suspect that the Internet isn't the good thing I thought it was when I first met it in the early 90s. What happened to the promise of having humanity's aggregate knowledge available for everyone to use to build a better life? Society should be getting smarter, not dumber. And yet it seems all the web is used for anymore is to drive wedges between us. That's not right, is it?

When I have doubts like this, I turn to the wisdom of the ancients. This is what I hear when I listen:

I can't fight this feeling any longer,
and yet I'm still afraid to let it flow.
What started out as friendship has grown stronger;
I only wish I had the strength to let it show.

I tell myself that I can't hold out forever.
I said there is no reason for my fear
'cause I feel so secure when we're together.
You give my life direction; you make everything so clear.

And even as I wander, I'm keeping you in sight.
You're a candle in the window on a cold, dark winter's night,
and I'm getting closer than I ever thought I might.

And I can't fight this feeling anymore.
I've forgotten what I started fighting for.
It's time to bring this ship in to the shore,
and throw away the oars, forever.

That may sound like a mixed metaphor, but that's how the great prophets always communicate. (If they just came out and *said* what they meant, we wouldn't ever learn anything, would we?) Clearly it means we're all in one boat and should be working to sail in the same direction, people.

If necessary, let us disagree on the method by which we can best reach the future but not the fact that we all want that better future for ourselves and our neighbors. Together, we can overcome the deluge of misinformation flowing down the information superhighway as we drive our speedwagon to the future! Onward and upward in 2020!

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