Showing 11 - 14 of 14 posts found matching keyword: captain america

This was the moment when I began to suspect that Captain America was Catholic.

Captain America, Child Molester.

These panels were published in Captain America Comics #19, published in 1942, apparently as the winning entry of an inappropriate sexual innuendo writing competition.

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There is a reason why some words are never found in comic books.

Secondly, Wally, it's inappropriate to talk about your sex life in front of the Star-Spangled Avenger. Unless, of course, this is your way of inviting him into a threesome. The panel above is taken from 1981's Captain America #262, in which Captain America attends the filming of Captain America -- the Motion Picture, and learns that Hollywood is chock full of anarchists and fascists living deviant lifestyles and working together to destroy America through television. Art imitates life, indeed.

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Apparently, in Captain America, Volume 5 (!), #25, released this past Wednesday, Captain America was killed.

The reported death of the good Captain doesn't bother me. Many a hero has survived apparent death, and Captain America has gone through this trauma before. He has been presumed dead on several previous occasions. (I mean, he never really knows how long he'll have to live anyway, right?) I certainly know that if he sells comic books, he'll be back. After all, note that he was killed in Captain America, Volume 5! That means that he has had 4 previously cancelled versions of his own title. (And this volume will make 5.)

No, what bothers me about the death of Captain America is how, suddenly, this represents news. Cap's recent behavior and death are being spun by both sides of the political spectrum as relevant. Suddenly, Captain America's death is politically important.

Bye, Cap.

The LA Times calls Cap's death a sign of "America's current distemper" with the war in Iraq. The Washington Post views Cap's shifts in temperament and goals as a cultural looking-glass in a "battle for American ideals." Fox News' "Fox & Friends" declared that Marvel's decision to kill Captain America was a sign of weakness for terrorists to capitalize on. ("You should not kill Captain America when we're at war.") Comedy Central's "The Colbert Report" used Cap's death as a typically sarcastic attack on the government abdication of individuals' rights. ("Fighting to protect civil liberties like free speech and privacy isn't just quaint; it's dangerous. That's what killed Captain America.")

I'm a touch more cynical. Captain America was killed to sell comic books. And, of course, to stir hype for the Captain America movie expected in 2009.

Will the Death of Captain America be the Murphy Brown's Baby of the 2008 election? We could only be so lucky.

(By the way, Marvel: if Winter Soldier becomes the new Captain America, I'll never buy another one of your books ever again. Wait, that's not fair. I'll probably never buy one of your books again anyway, so do whatever you want.)

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This holiday season, take some time to review the things that really matter. Ponder the big questions in life: If Jesus had been a postman, would he have been mailed to the cross? Do you ruin Santa's schedule if you put laxative in his milk and cookies? If I dream of a white christmas, will I be considered a racist by Morgan Freeman?

I was watching one of my favorite movies the other day, the 1979 TV pilot for Captain America. It features one of my favorite actors, Reb Brown. Reb's acting was never very good, but his great physique, good natured delivery, and unintentionally comic timing always made his onscreen performances memorable. (He had quite a bit of work for nearly 2 decades beginning in the mid-seventies, everything from Fantasy Island to Flight of the Intruder.)

To get a better sense of Reb's style, take a look at this clip from the movie. (Check out Simon's double-take to Steve's final statement.) If you've never seen the movie, there are a lot of great moments where it seems that scientist and spy Simon is talking to Steve as though Steve were a special education student. It's great. And it has a big part for Lance LeGault, a member of Elvis' Memphis Mafia and prolific actor who played, among other roles, the A-Team's Col. Decker. Don't worry, you'll recognize him as "that guy with the gravelly voice who always plays assholes."

It's a long way from "Do you think this letter on my head stands for France?" but it's a lot of clean, old-fashioned fun anyway.

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To be continued...

 

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