Today I returned to Sanford Stadium for the first time since November 9, 2019. This is the view from my newest tickets, 12 rows closer than the seats I had since 2002.

Wow, what a difference!

I was looking forward to this one, what with Auburn coming to town for something like the 126th time. To bolster my courage to go out in public again, I got Omicron boosted 2 weeks ago. I also got a flu shot. And, for good measure, a tetanus shot. Because, you know, some dawgs bite. Especially the drunk ones.

I wish I could I could tell you that I had a great time, but that wouldn't be true. The drive to Athens started me in a bad mood because I was my usually anxious pre-game self (that hasn't changed for the better in the past three years). Traffic (and my innate struggles at time management) meant that I arrived in Athens with barely enough time to sprint into the stadium before kickoff.

To make matters worse, since my last visit, Sanford Stadium has gone paperless and cashless, and it only seems to have slowed ticket taking and concession buying. Welcome to the future!

To make matters worst, after standing in a concessionaire's line for five minutes to buy a Coke, I discovered that particular concessionaire had sold out of regular Coke. "Will a Diet Coke do?" You might as well ask me if Pepsi is okay. IT. IS. NOT.

On the up side, Auburn did bring a marching band that performed at halftime, complete with a flag corps that had a real hard time holding onto their flags. I did enjoy that while I drank my Coca-Cola Dasani water.

I might have had more fun if I hadn't gone alone, if I had taken someone to bitch to. But I think the real lesson here is that I shouldn't go to games that have a 30 point spread. Frankly, Auburn is not good this year (especially since they're down to their third string quarterback), and UGA played down to their level for most of the game, striping the on-field product of any significant entertainment value. If the football game isn't any good, there really isn't any reason to spend 5 hours on the road and 4 hours in the sun watching it.

Try harder next year, Auburn.

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A 7:08 PM kickoff on Saturday meant that I didn't get back home until just before 2 AM Sunday, but it was worth it to see UGA beat down Auburn 27-10.

What I will remember most about this game, aside from the drunk girl to my left who couldn't quite grasp the concept of "personal space," is the cold. It may not be the coldest Georgia game I've ever attended (that would be a Tech game almost a decade ago), but it was pretty darn close. According to the television in the student center, it was 38° at the final whistle.

My usual Auburn-game companion, Friend Randy, didn't think he was going to need anything more than a light jacket. He never did get the hang of the knit cap I let him borrow, but I note he never took it off, either. (You're welcome, Randy.)

As for the football itself, it seems that every year in the annual UGA/Auburn contest, one team out thinks itself. This year, that team was Georgia. UGA tried its best to pretend that it isn't a run-first, second, and third offense in an attempt to beat trick play-happy Auburn head coach Gus Malzhan at his own game. (Blankenship's failed fake field goal springs to mind.) Fortunately, great defense won out. Next year, let's keep it simple, okay, Dawgs?

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Auburn was ranked 9. They were favored by 10 points. Yet they haven't won in Athens since 2005. Do I have to tell you what happened next?

The evening started well, with a rare US flag display in one end zone and an F-16 flyover. Then the fellow who sits next to me showed up drunk. A fight broke out between two UGA fans a few rows in front of me, and then a second scuffle erupted when someone spilled his nacho cheese on someone else's jacket. However, things didn't really get ugly until the teams started playing football.

Auburn began the game with a truly dominant rushing attack. Their first drive was derailed only by a fumble. Their second drive resulted in seven easy points. Georgia, on the other hand, had nothing. They couldn't even get a break on a clear pass interference non-call. Bulldogs fans were not happy. Through halftime, the score remained 7-0. It looked like the sun was setting on what was left of our season.

Then, after halftime, Auburn inexplicably moved away from their run game. Instead, they devoted themselves to a passing attack that was more pass than attack. Auburn eked out only 37 yards in 22 passing attempts for the game and never scored another point. (Next time Auburn fans want to make an argument about firing Gus Malzahn, this should be exhibit A. If quarterback Sean White was nursing an injury, why ask him to do more?)

Meanwhile, UGA intercepted and returned a pass 34 yards to tie the game. Auburn continued to struggle while, in consecutive drives, UGA managed one field goal, missed a second, then made a third. UGA won, 13-7, without ever scoring a single offensive touchdown.

In 2016, we'll take what we can get.

(Special thanks to Friend Randy, an FSU fan who bought me a Coke before the game started and another after the game was over. That's friendship!)

EDIT 2016-11-13: I've been informed that television audiences were informed that Auburn stopped running the ball because they ran out of healthy running backs. All I can say about that is that the running back attrition wasn't obvious to those of us in the stands. I still think Malzahn would have had more success calling running plays for the quarterbacks instead of passes, but I'll have to trust he knows his personnel better than I do.

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Last year, Auburn won on a prayer. Even that wasn't enough this year as UGA crushed the Tigers 34-7.

If it wasn't the coldest UGA game I've attended, it was close. And being a night game, the drunks were out in full force. (A UGA fan head-butted an Auburn fan 3 rows in front of us, and the dudes behind me insisted on yelling "faggot" at Gus Malzahn and the officials every 30 seconds. Not pleasant.) What made it tolerable was the Bulldogs' impressive on-field performance. Auburn was unstoppable on their opening drive, then never scored again.

We were all super excited to have Todd Gurley back. The poor kid came back from his month of NCAA-forced vacation only to tear his ACL. Should Missouri lose one of their final two games, Gurley will be unavailable for another shot at the SEC Championship. He'll probably never play ball for Georgia again. It's a disappointing end to a great collegiate career, and it makes taking a payment for his autograph seem like the right decision.

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On 4th and 18, with Auburn on their own 27-yard line, with only 35 seconds remaining in the game, with Georgia having scored just 21 unanswered points to lead by 1, this happened:

The entire 2013 UGA football season represented in one play. It's a good thing Larry Munson is already dead.

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Mom and I traveled to Auburn to watch the Bulldogs and Tigers play. I'd never seen a game in Auburn, and Mom hadn't been to Jordan-Hare stadium since her father, an Auburn alumnus, took her in about in 1957. We figure this means that she goes to an Auburn game once every time Auburn wins a national title. If Auburn's play today is any indicator, she won't be going back for another 50 years.

Auburn and Georgia didn't belong on the same field together. The Tigers were as bad as any team we've played all season, and they totally deserved the zero points they scored. Georgia effortlessly 28 on their first 4 possessions and easily steamrolled their way to an eventual 38-0 victory.

The Auburn fans in the stands had long since resigned themselves to how terrible their football team is in 2012, and were resorting to self-deprecating gallows humor to ease the pain. By the third quarter, most Auburn fans had even gone home, abandoning their home stadium to us Dawgs fans celebrating clinching SEC East. It was a pretty good time.

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It's been a long time since the Georgia Bulldogs beat the Auburn Tigers by better than 38 points. It was 1946, in fact. That's why no one in Sandford Stadium expected what we saw as UGA took it to Auburn in a 45-7 rout.

The Tigers just rolled over for the Bulldogs, barely even threatening to score again after their opening drive. No one in the stadium could believe their eyes as Auburn just continued to take their beating, especially during Georgia's 21 point second quarter explosion. Many Georgia fans demanded more points from the Dogs in the fourth quarter, savoring the romp over our oldest foe.

Georgia is one win away from claiming the SEC East. After starting 0-2, winning the SEC East was as unimaginable a situation as beating Auburn 45-7. I guess that means it has been a pretty unimaginable season.

One note about the fans: In the third quarter, the public address announcer declared that it was time to "find Harry Dawg" in the animated McDonald's advertisement that has been a long-running spot on the giant screen. When instead the four F-16 pilots who participated in the pre-game flyover in honor of Veterans Day were introduced on the field, the crowd got surly. Grumblings were heard from the crowd periodically until the animated advertisement was finally shown halfway through the fourth quarter. Seeing this, the tobacco-chewing man sitting next to Trey shouted "finally" before concentrating with all his might to keep track of the moving package of fries that was hiding the mascot. Congratulations, McDonald's, on serving another 90,000.

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It appears that an overzealous University of Alabama fan murdered some trees to spite fans of Auburn University. That sounds bad, right? I've been trying to figure out how to put that in perceptive. It's not like the guy killed a person or an animal mascot, but he did destroy something that was alive. Would you jail the gardener who killed your hedges while you were out of town? What about the mischievous neighbor who salted his name in your lawn?

It can't be said that the trees were unique or irreplaceable, they were just old (130-years). They weren't famous for being beautiful or alive. They were famous for being toilet paper holders. Auburn fans celebrated football wins by the classy act of covering the trees in rolls of toilet paper. It's not like the trees couldn't be replaced with metal telephone poles so far as their function is concerned.

In Athens, we are proud to have the famous Tree That Owns Itself. It serves a local landmark that Athens residents would be unlikely to cover in cheap paper goods. However, our tree isn't even the original, but a descendant, and that's good enough for us.

This clever, tree-murdering fellow, who was caught after he bragged on a local radio station, is reportedly being held for $50,000 bond. That seems high until you consider that his vandalism is essentially a hate crime. Fortunately, Alabama fans have bended together on Facebook to raise money -- for the trees. I'm sure that Auburn fans are contributing, too. After all, this vandalism has saved them a fortune against the cost of toiler paper.

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This is what 92,000 people standing in concern for a single person looks like:

With 1:16 remaining in the game, UGA's Bacarri Rambo suffered a severe concussion that left him motionless on the field. It was the first time I've seen the cart have to carry a motionless player off the field in person, and I must say that the crowd, including the many Auburn fans, was quite supportive.

And despite a dismal first quarter played by the Bulldogs (no first downs, 14 points scored by Auburn), the game itself turned out to be another in a series of fantastic games this season. It is a shame that our record isn't better considering how entertaining the home games have been this season (with the exception of the Tennessee Tech blowout last week). Once more to go as Kentucky visits next week for the final 2009 home game, our UGA-record setting fourth night game this year.

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Now back to football: UGA 45, Auburn 20. (Satisfying. Oh, so satisfying. It was the most points anyone had scored on Auburn since we hung 56 on them over a decade ago. And this is the first time that UGA has scored 40 or more points in a game in 3 consecutive games since the 1940s.)

This was the last UGA game of the season that I will be attending. I'll be missing next week's game so that I can travel to the Dolphins vs. Eagles contest in Philadelphia. Fitting, I suppose, that the fans all wore black to the game this week to mark my passing.

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