In late December, the power in my neighborhood was out for days. In late March and April, it was out for a few hours. As I type this by candlelight, we're on hour 5 of the latest outage.

I don't understand why this keeps happening. If it's trees falling on power lines, why are we allowing any trees to remain near the lines? If it's old transformers, can't we predict failure and start replacing them?

Or maybe the problem is more insidious.

You know who loves it when the neighborhood is dark? Deer!

I'm on to you, you bastards.

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"Newton County man gored by buck in his backyard," reads the headline at cbs46.com (WGCL).

A man appears to be wielding a broomstick at the deer to ward it off. Seconds later, the deer charges at the man and pins him down. The video pans out for a split second before showing the man laying on the ground.

It sounds like a scene from a Stephen King movie, but that's their description of a Facebook video shared by the Georgia Department of Natural Resources Wildlife Resources Division. Warns the GDNRWRD:

"[I]f you observe tame or pet deer, please contact the Law Enforcement Division.... While you may hesitate to call due to the potential for the animal to be euthanized, please know that you are doing the right thing."

Longtime readers of Wriphe.com don't need that warning. We know that if we see what looks like a "tame" deer, what we're really looking at is a domestic-ated terrorist.

You're going to get what's coming to you, Bambi!

Bury him under the jail, fellas.

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All has been quiet on the Great Deer Uprising front for the past year. You might think that means the war is over, but you'd be wrong. The deer have just been preoccupied building WMDs.

From The New York Times:

Scientists have identified a new, highly mutated version of the coronavirus in whitetailed deer in southwestern Ontario, one that might have been evolving in animals since late 2020.

They also found a similar viral sequence in one person in the area who had close contact with deer, the first evidence of possible deer-to-human transmission of the virus.

The 1925 Geneva Convention specifically bans biological weapons in warfare, but deer never signed the damn thing!

He is wearing this mask for his protection, not yours!

Hey, humanity. If we can't start pulling together, those hooved bastards are going to take us out. And the worst part is I'll be dead and unable to say "I told you so."

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Watched just in time for Christmas:

146. (2005.) Silent Night, Deadly Night (1984)

This movie is infamous because of how public response to its Santa-with-an-axe ad campaign ended up getting the movie pulled from theatrical release. But what it should be infamous for is how it twists the Batman's origin into a (lame) horror story.

As my Christmas gift to the world, I've translated the movie back into comic panels.

Now you can say you've seen Silent Night, Deadly Night (just like how for years I said I'd seen the R-rated Robocop when I'd only read the PG-rated Marvel Comics adaptation). Merry Christmas!

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Good help is getting increasingly harder to find.

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¹ "That day" was January 6, 2021, when an armed mob stormed the U.S. Capitol, resulting in the death of 5 Americans

² Quoted May 27, 2021, on the Senate floor by Minority Whip Mitch McConnell³

³ Image is a visual approximation

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Adventure Comics #348, 1966

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Georgia junior senator Kelly Loeffler to Congress, February 3, 2020:

"As my notebooks filled up, I thought to myself, how did this case even make it to the Senate?"

Georgia senior senator David Purdue to Congress, February 4, 2020:

"It is clear now, after hearing all the testimony, that the primary motivation to ask Zelensky to look into the Biden-Burisma corruption issue was to root out corruption in the Ukraine."

Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell to Congress, February 5, 2020:

"We will reject this incoherent case that comes nowhere near, *nowhere near* justifying the first presidential removal in history. This partisan impeachment will end today."

...

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Burt Reynolds died yesterday at the age of 82. In addition to being a football player for FSU, he starred in one of the best football movies, The Longest Yard. That alone is enough to earn a mention of his passing in this Batman/Football Month.

But wait, there's more!

According to 66batman.com, Reynolds admitted in his 2015 autobiography that he was up for the lead role of television's Batman that eventually made a star of Adam West. Can you imagine? I can.

And, of course, the Batmobile would have been a Pontiac. Yeah, I'd've watched that.

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