Movies watched, week ending April 21.

94. Mutiny on the Bounty (1961)
I've never really cared for Marlon Brando. This movie didn't much help his cause with me. He's no Gregory Peck, that's for sure.

96. The Bounty Hunter (2010)
I watched this movie only because it was starting just as I was sitting down to dinner. My dinner was not very good (overly-spiced and nearly inedible), and the movie was worse.

97. The Searchers (1956)
I read online that this John Ford/John Wayne film is still considered by many to be the best western ever made. While there is no denying that it is very good, I wouldn't go that far. I think Eastwood has made far better films in the years since.

98. Attack of the 5 Ft. 2 Women (1994)
I admit that I watched this movie because of its title. I still think that Julie Brown is funny, but this movie was more like a series of weak Tracy Ulman Show sketches than an actual feature film.

99. A Family Affair (1937)
After Mickey Rooney's cameo in The Muppets, Mom chose to watch this movie because it is the first of Rooney's Andy Hardy films. (If you don't know what I'm talking about, ask your grandparents about them.) I can't really understand why this movie spawned a series. I guess that its overly simplified melodrama with a happy ending appealed to Depression era film-goers. Its plot just seems laughably weak now.

100. Winter A-Go-Go (1965)
Another film chosen by Mom, after we had both re-watched a couple of Frankie and Annette beach movies. This Columbia film wanted to be a beach movie so badly, it shows in every frame. Too bad the best thing in the movie is the "Coke bar," clearly what passed as product placement in 1965. (I laughed at the "dancing" in the movie -- which was little more than high-speed ass shaking -- complaining that no one has ever danced like that. Mom was conspicuously silent.)

101. In the Good Old Summertime (1949)
I watched this musical because Buster Keaton was in it. I do not regret my decision. His part is small, but the laughs he generates are not.

102. Horrible Bosses (2011)
I'm glad to see Jennifer Aniston in something funny for a change. Generally, she's the opposite of Buster Keaton.

So that's that. Past 100 movies on the year, and it's still only April!

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Still playing catch-up with movies, this is the week ending April 14.

85. My Dinner with Andre (1981)
I'd heard a lot about this film, and saying that it isn't for everyone is an understatement. Even knowing what to expect, I had become completely fed up with Andre's pretentious speech throughout the first 1/2 of the film and was about to turn the movie off when Wallace Shawn essentially tells Andre that he was full of shit. That made the third act worth watching. Some people think this film is genius. I thought it was long-winded. Your mileage may vary.

86. The House Bunny (2008)
A stupid Playboy Bunny becomes the house mother of the female equivalent of Revenge of the Nerds' tri-Lambs of Adams College. Sweet, sweet Emma Stone and Anna Faris make this film far more endearing and funny than it ought to be.

87. The Awful Truth (1937)
Is the premise of every Cary Grant screwball comedy that he is essentially a hypocritical asshole? I think the answer is yes.

88. The Great Race (1965)
I think I've mentioned before that I don't like Tony Curtis or Jack Lemmon, which is why I hadn't watched this all the way through earlier. Lemmon is his typically over-the-top self, but that works in this movie. That said, there is no reason this movie needs to be 3 hours long. Made today, it would have a hard time reaching the 90 minute mark.

89. Pineapple Express (2008)
Yes, this film has a lot of drug references in it, and that typically means that I won't watch it. But in my quest for movies in 2012, I'm trying to set aside my film prejudices. In the case of Pineapple Express, I should have kept my mind closed.

90. The Lost Weekend (1945)
This movie is also about drugs, alcoholism, to be precise, but it's far better than Pineapple Express. This film and Marty are the only two movies to win a Best Picture Academy Award and top accolades at the Cannes Film Festival (sometimes called the Palme D'Or and sometimes the Grand Prix du Festival International du Film). It's good, but I never want to see it again.

91. I Am Number Four (2011)
This movie so desperately wants to be the next Twilight, it might as well have borrowed the title. Since it struck me while watching that the movie felt like an overly long Smallville episode, I wasn't particularly surprised when the closing credits told me it was by the same writers. There are 10 seasons of Smallville on DVD, and all 218 of those episodes deserve watching more than this movie.

92. Captain Horatio Hornblower (1951)
There is no way that there was ever a sea captain as ridiculously awesome as Gregory Peck is in this movie. Sea-faring stories typically make me sea-sick, but Gregory Peck makes me want to read C.S. Forester.

93. Adam's Rib (1949)
Both The Awful Truth and this film end somewhat abruptly when the romantic leads overcome their differences and end up in a shared bedroom. It dawns on me that the abruptness and setting is meant to suggest to contemporary audiences that the leads would be having sex. My, how far cinema has come: do any modern romantic comedies not include graphically suggestive sex scenes?

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As tends to happen in my world, twice in the past month I noticed a large, orange abstract sculpture in the background of my popular entertainment.

84. Boiling Point (1993)
They should have called this film Room Temperature, but even that might have been stretching things. In this Dennis Hopper vehicle hijacked by Wesley Snipes, the sculpture can be seen in front of a crooked lawyer's office. The art is far more memorable than the movie.

95. The Muppets (2011)
The sculpture looks far more suitable as a background for those colorful Muppets in this movie that is as entertaining as Boiling Point is boring. Specifically, the sculpture is implied to be beside the "Richman Oil" building where the villain hangs out. Is it any coincidence that this work keeps appearing in buildings that house scumbags?

Thanks to publicartinla.com, I now know that the sculpture is an Alexander Calder original titled "Four Arches." Installed in 1974, the 4-story work still stands outside 333 Hope Street, Los Angeles, in what is now known as the Bank of American Plaza. Bank of America? That might explain the scumbag connection.

If you'd like a better view of the sculpture or the plaza, give Google Street View a try. (Isn't living in the 21st century awesome?)

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Now that I finally have Mom conditioned to watch movies and not television shows, I seem to be making significant headway in my quest to 150 as many movies as I can watch in 2012. To keep from posting huge lists twice a month, I'm going to start regularly posting what I've seen in the past week. Since I've already got a backlog, let's get started. I watched the following movies the first week of April:

76. Meet Dave (2008)
After blogging about it in 2008, I finally had to watch this "family comedy" -- the only kind of movie Eddie Murphy makes anymore. I got the impression that the actors were really trying but had nothing to work with either via script or director Brian Robbin's instructions. (Robbins only directs television shows for kids and Eddie Murphy films, and it shows.) At one point, Eddie Murphy smiles into the camera as he shits money. That's fun for kids of all ages! To be perfectly clear: don't watch this film.

77. Attack of the 50 Foot Woman (1958)
Believe it or not, I'd never seen this before. Two words summarize why it is a classic: unintentionally hilarious.

78. Bridesmaids (2011)
I had started this film alone but quickly decided that it was a film that Mom would enjoy, so I started it over. Kristen Wiig knows funny.

79. Meteor (1979)
This movie predicts future events, showing a flying object slamming into the upper floors of the World Trade Center. Does that mean that one day Sean Connery will really be a divorced rocket scientist trying to save Earth from an idiotic NASA beurocracy?

80. How the West Was Won (1962)
Slowly, I'm working my way through all those mid-1960s epics that have a running time of three hours and mid-movie intermissions. This film was originally presented in Cinerama, which apparently was a gimmick placing three screens side-by-side. Because of the camera design required to capture such a wide aspect ratio, there's no shot approaching a close-up in the entire story, which may explain why the studio cast only stars in even the minor roles. Seriously, Lee Van Cleef shows up for 30 seconds as a member of a gang of pirates. I'm not convinced that this type of epic story with an all-star cast and Imax-style visuals has any place in modern Hollywood, and that's part of the film's appeal, I think.

81. Columbiana (2011)
A brainless revenge flick that wasn't worth the time it took to watch it. I'd rather watch nothing but 3-hour epics than any number of boring 90-minute wastes of celluloid like this.

82. Thor (2011)
This was the Marvel movie I was looking forward to in 2011, and I'm pleased to say that it lived up to my expectations. Far better than Captain America, Green Lantern, and Green Hornet combined.

83. The Smurfs (2011)
Trey can attest that I spent most of this movie complaining about Scottish Smurf. However, I really enjoyed Azrael the cat and Hank Azaria's Gargamel. Dont' get me wrong: I don't want to see it again, but I'm not in hate with it.

There was one more film this week (Trey knows what it is), and I'll get to it soon.

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March movies concluded.

59. An American Werewolf in London (1981)
I generally don't like werewolf films, but since I was planning to watch New Moon, I figured I owed this horror classic the old college try. To my surprise, I hadn't missed anything. To sum up: a boy is bitten by a werewolf but survives, told by his dead friend that he will become a werewolf, turns into a werewolf, and is killed. The SFX are good, but someone really should have tried to squeeze a little plot under all that makeup.

60. The H-Man (1958)
This movie has a significantly better user rating on imdb.com than New Moon, proving the adage that you shouldn't believe everything you read. Even if you hated New Moon, there's nothing here that's remotely better. The special effects of melting people -- every bit as creepy if slightly more mysterious than the melting Nazis in Raiders of the Lost Ark -- are the highlight of this pedestrian Japanese morality tale of the dangers of the radiation tests. That's two movies in a row where special effects are used to cover weak stories. It's a trend!

63. Die, Monster, Die! (1965)
After H-Man, this horrible movie looks like an award winner. Dialogue is long and pointless, characters are wooden, and sets are cluttered. There is a scene in this film where the protagonists discover a hothouse filled with truly horrific creatures that could be demons or mutants, and they act as though they were seeing something as ordinary as chickens. (The female lead inexplicably saves her screams for far more mundane thunderstorms and locked doors.) At least the film does have a significantly creepy and mysterious atmosphere, which was enough to keep me watching.

64. 30 Minutes or Less (2011)
I am so sick of Jesse Eisenberg and Danny McBride. Fortunately Fred Ward and Aziz Ansari appeared just often enough to keep the timer going on this "comedy."

65. Suddenly (1954)
I told my friend Chris that he was probably the only person I knew who would be even slightly interested in the fact that I had just watched a b-movie in which hired assassin Frank Sinatra kills a television repairman. Without hesitation Chris replied, "hey, I own Suddenly!"

66. Priest (2011)
In a past life, my brother worked in Hollywood where he developed a mancrush on actor Paul Bettany. Since then, Trey insists that I watch all things Bettany does. Trey was quite pissed to learn that I had watched Twilight despite my aversion to vampire-themed fiction and demanded that I finally watch Bettany's vampire-themed Priest. Don't tell Trey, but this movie co-stars Cam Gigandet, the villain from Twilight. (And he's delightful!)

68. Superheroes (2011)
A documentary about the people who dress up like superheroes and fight "crime," by which they typically mean homelessness.

69. Zero Hour! (1957)
I watched this knowing that it is the film that Airplane! is based on. What I did not know was that the two movies share the same script: Zero Hour! is Airplane! without the punchlines. Save yourself the trouble and just watch Airplane!.

70. Guess Who's Coming to Dinner (1967)
A fantastic movie. Sometimes, casting does make all the difference, but it really helps when they have a great script to work with.

71. The Big Sleep (1946)
This bit of film noir provided several scenes for Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid, but fails to be anything more than a vehicle for Humphrey Bogart and Lauren Bacall. For die-hard film noir (or Bogart) fans only.

72. Friends with Benefits (2011)
Why try so hard to convince the audience that you aren't just another romantic comedy while being just another romantic comedy? I liked it despite this flaw, mostly because Justin Timberlake is so willing to make a fool of himself for my entertainment.

73. Dirigible (1931)
Frank Capra directed this film, but I watched it because it of its subject matter (the dirigibles, not the cliche polar expedition disaster). I marvel that Ralph Graves had a career as a romantic leading man: his kisses look like assaults. After he "assaulted" Fay Wray early in the movie, I kept cheering for him to die. However, Frank Capra provides the expected saccharin ending, more disappointing than ever when the wrong boy gets the girl in the end.

74. Game Change (2012)
Again, I almost didn't watch this because it was a biopic, but the allure of Woody Harrelson proved too great. Yes, the film is a hit job on Sarah Palin (the woman simply can't be that demented in real life), but it has the side effect of making John McCain look like a modern Teddy Roosevelt. I'm voting for Ed Harris in 2012!

75. The Mechanic (2011)
The sex scenes in this remake seem to define "gratuitous nudity" and left me wondering if the original film showed Charlie Bronson having vigorous sex with topless girls half his age. I guess I need to see the 1972 original and find out.

After watching 75 new-to-me movies by the end of March, I'm already halfway to my goal of 150 on the year. I think I'll take it easy in April. It sure can be hard work trying to watch a movie every day. I'm sacrificing considerable video game time.

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For all the fuss my friends have made about it, you'd think I only watched Twilight movies in March. Not true. The Twilight made up only a small minority of my March viewing.

44. MASH (1970)
I never really cared for the series, and this movie is in many ways just like it. Fortunately, Donald Southerland's Hawkeye does far less moralizing than Alan Alda's Hawkeye, making the film slightly more tolerable than the television show.

45. Spartacus (1960)
This film is far too long, and it seems far longer than it is. However, the week before I watched it, I had played The Republic of Rome, a board game equally epic in scope as the movie. I enjoyed the game, and found comparisons between Spartacus' Rome and the game's rules to be compelling enough to keep watching when Tony Curtis' "singing" wasn't.

46. Proof (2005)
Mom chose this movie about a very smart adult child who fears succumbing to the same mental illness that her father had. I found the film difficult to watch.

47. After the Thin Man (1936)
An evenly-matched married couple with a dog gleefully fast-talk their way through solving a murder mystery? Say no more, I'm in! Delightful in every way. I'm now actively seeking out the 5 other movies in the Thin Man series to watch.

48. A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum (1966)
I found the highlight of this comedy of errors to be Buster Keaton in his final film role. This film reminded me of the more madcap Marx Brothers films in that I liked it, but felt dizzy long before it was over.

49. For Your Consideration (2006)
How did I miss this Christopher Guest film when it came out? I love movies about movies, and a Christopher Guest movie about movies? Sublime.

50. The D.I. (1957)
If I didn't love Jack Webb so, I probably would have found this film with him in the role of a Marine drill instructor unintentionally humorous. But I cannot laugh at Jack Webb. Joe Friday would fuck your shit up.

51. Furry Vengeance (2010)
Every bit as bad as you would expect a film in which evil Brendon Fraiser is tormented by woodland creatures to be. What is it with "family" movies these days? They are all terribly stupid. I don't know why, but Hollywood apparently hates children more than I do.

52. Moneyball (2011)
I don't care for baseball, but I enjoyed this behind-the-scenes look at the unconventional building of a team to be very enjoyable. Recommended.

53. Seven Days in May (1964)
Another great film. A truly suspenseful thriller with fantastic performances by the entire cast. Most surprisingly, the political themes at the core of the film are as relevant in the fear-mongering climate of 2012 as they were in 1964.

54. The Queen (2006)
Another recommendation by Mom. Normally, I hate historic biopics. I just can't abide by fictional words being placed in characters' mouths. That said, I really enjoyed Michael Sheen as the Prime Minister, and Helen Mirren is Queen Elizabeth. A worthwhile couple of hours.

55. Your Highness (2011)
This movie presents a different kind of royal family. Given the title, I expected more drug humor, so I was excited to find that this film rather adeptly captured the spirit of one of my role-playing game sessions exactly.

56. The Social Network (2011)
I was distracted from the last 30 minutes of the movie by a real programming emergency, and I simply haven't cared to find out how it ends. I don't really understand why everyone thought this movie is so great, but then I've never really understood the appeal of Facebook, either.

58. Movie Crazy (1932)
Yet another movie about movies. Silent-film star Harold Lloyd produced and starred in this talkie about a klutz who becomes a movie star. Despite the audio track, this is very much a silent movie in spirit. Most of the dialogue is wooden and used only to set up sight gags. Where the movie does sparkle is in the occasional verbal jousting between Lloyd and love-interest Constance Cummings. Her quick wordplay is far better than her capricious character deserves, and in my opinion she steals the film.

More to come.

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I beat my own record from February, and caught 33 new-to-me movies in March. The month started slow, but once mom went out of town and I had free access to the television, I was able to make up for lost time. I probably would've done better than that if I hadn't spent so much time on movies that I'd already seen.

It started with Back to the Future. I've seen that movie countless times. I own it. I can quote almost all of Marty McFly's dialogue in the entire film. Watching that film makes me happy, like a drug. Warning kids: recreational drug use always leads to trouble.

This time, the Back to the Future-roofie led me watch a movie I wasn't planning to watch. Because I like Back to the Future so much, I liked the new movie despite my expectations. And then I liked that movie's sequel. And the sequel's sequel and the sequel's sequel's sequel. Despite my best intentions, I just kept watching; Back to the Future had turned me into an addict for Twilight.

57. Twilight (2008)
61. New Moon (2009)
62. The Twilight Saga: Eclipse (2010)
67. The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 1 (2011)

Let me pause here and emphasize that this is not an April Fool's Day post. Seriously, I typically can't stand vampire stories, especially when they try to explain the creatures scientifically. Immortal creatures endlessly masquerading as high school students? I thought high school was bad enough living though it just once; I'd drink blood before I did it again.

Add werewolves to the story, and my interest should plummet further. Creatures who gain and lose incredible mass based on the phase of the moon? That's as believable as the Incredible Hulk. But it was from comic books that I drew the suspension of disbelief required to enjoy these films. A few conspicuously useful super powers used conservatively between a lot of talking about being outcasts? Vampire Edward Cullen and his clan are not significantly different than the X-Men.

More importantly, Twilight does something very, very right by way of Kristen Stewart in the role of *cough* Bella Swan. Insecurely hiding from attention, biting her fingers, chewing her lips, and sulking, she convinced me that she was a high-school student in love. It's endearing. Before the first movie was halfway over, I wanted that girl to end up happy, even if she has to become an undead bloodsucker to do it.

Can I recommend these films to anyone? Probably not. They are slow and self-indulgent. But I liked 'em, and for that I'm blaming Back to the Future: the gateway drug of the movie industry.

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As I mentioned in my last report, there were two other movies I watched in February. They were the last two, and I was waiting until I had watched my first movie in March to report them.

41. A Star Is Born (1937)
This movie has problems. It's a disjointed tale in two halves. In the first half, a "young" girl rises to Hollywood stardom. The second half is the fall of the Hollywood leading man that helped her up. What's weird about it is how late in the movie we met the man. Yes, his influence propels her to stardom, but we probably should have met him earlier if we are going to devote so much screen time to him. It's an interesting film, but won Best Picture probably more for its Technicolor and innovative story than the quality of its production.

42. A Star Is Born (1954)
This film fixes all the flaws in its predecessor, but then makes the mistake of adding superfluous songs just for Judy Garland to sing. James Mason takes over the male lead, driving the story from beginning to end with a completely believable, threatening performance. Even the supporting characters are much better served as they are utilized to define the tragic social dynamic of the film instead of awkwardly motivating the plot from scene to scene as in the original. Other than the songs -- all sung by Garland, none of which are necessary in the story -- this is simply a better movie all around. If you watch just one, make it this one.

43. A Star Is Born (1976)
And then there was Streisand. This film was "modernized" to take the leads out of Hollywood and make them pop music icons, much to the film's detriment. Unlike previous female leads, Streisand doesn't need to change her name or style to fit the mold of a star that the public expects: she just needs a little coaching. Ugh. Her lead is simultaneously pushy and whiny and quite frankly hard to like. Instead of sacrificing himself for her career, the male lead simply gets drunk and dies in a car crash so that Streisand can complain about how selfish he was and then sing his songs in "tribute." (If I was married to that shrew, I think I'd crawl into a bottle as well.) This is the worst of the three by far, and probably the reason no one has remade the film yet is the bad taste this one leaves in your mouth.

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February movies continued:

28. Rubber (2010)
Seinfeld used to brag that it was a television show about nothing. Wrong. This movie was about nothing. I really didn't know that anyone was still working in the Theater of the Absurd, but there it is. It's not bad for experimental theater, but then making it better would also have made it less experimental, I suppose.

29. Kiss Me Kill Me (1973)
A little sex, a little super-natural conspiracy, a little art-house: this movie was made for drive-ins. Satisfying in oh so many ways. This film was also released as Baba Yaga, Devil Witch, so maybe I should count it as two movies?

30. I Killed That Man (1941)
This is a b-movie detective story that would have run as a movie-house undercard back in the day. Really, it's not too different than modern television police procedurals.

31. The Wasp Woman (1959)
In a sentence: trying to recapture her lost youth, the head of a cosmetics company takes an experimental drug that turns her into a giant wasp. It is what you think it is.

32. Marty (1955)
Another Best Picture winner, and the film that made Ernest Borgnine. It watches like a 1950s television drama because it was adapted from a television drama. If you like that sort of thing, you'll love this; as good as 1950s television drama gets.

33. Kramer vs. Kramer (1979)
I like Dustin Hoffman, but I avoided watching this for years because I figured that it wasn't the type of movie I like to watch. It's very, very good. But it isn't the type of movie I like to watch. This was the fourth Best Picture Oscar winner that I watched this month, and it wasn't the last.

34. Religulous (2008)
Bill Maher's assault on religion would have been more entertaining if it wasn't so damn belligerent. Bill, if your argument is so strong, you shouldn't have to try so hard to make it.

35. The Protector (2005)
Friend Brian recommended this movie years ago, and he was totally right. (That will be the first and only time I say that, Coop, so enjoy it.) The kung-fu action is simply top-notch.

36. 8½ (1963)
This is the first film I watched in 2012 that had me thinking about it for days after watching it. I'm still not sure whether I like it, but I think that very aspect of it is why so many critics call it such a great film.

37. Planet Terror (2007)
This was the second movie I watched this month that made me actively angry after it was over. I knew going in that I hate zombie movies, and this film contains every reason why with excessive gore and violence, impossible fantasy presented as science, stupid characters, and everyone losing in the end as civilization collapses. Ugh. Take note, Trey: this is the second movie this month that kills a dog. Unlike Paul, which killed a dog in order to motivate the characters, this movie kills a dog just to kill a dog. That's unforgivable, even in a film that pretends not to be taking itself seriously. The movie kills a child -- self-inflicted gunshot wound -- for the same reason. There is no message in this movie, so is this non-stop meaningless death is supposed to be entertainment? Zookeeper was better than this. I swear, I will never watch another zombie movie ever. EVER.

38. The Scarlet Pimpernel (1934)
They really, really don't make films like this anymore. It's a good film with an entertaining mix of adventure and romance, but these days there would have to be some foolish sidekick, a chase scene, and far more violence -- this film has none to speak of. This film has been remade several times, and I look forward to seeing if the more recent versions aren't more of what I expected from Hollywood.

39. The Help (2011)
Mom voted that we watch this film rather than watch the Academy Awards. I'm glad we did. (I love you, Emma Stone.)

40. Kisses for My President (1964)
The last time I saw Fred MacMurry, he was an adulterer in The Apartment. In this film, he is the devoted husband of the first female U.S. President. If you are familiar with My Three Sons of The Shaggy D.A., you know what this film is. The best part of this light comedy is the archaic attitude towards women in power. Unless, of course, you are a Rush Limbaugh supporter.

If you've been counting, you'll note that, yes, there are two more films I watched in February that aren't on this list. I'll get to them in a later post.

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Trey berated me for falling off the pace of 150 movies in January. I only watched 12 instead of the 13 I need to average each month to see 150 new-to-me movies this year. Figuring that come September, most of my time will be devoted to football, he's probably right. So I doubled my efforts in February and watched 30 movies!

Since 30 movies is a lot to cover, I'm going to break this up into multiple posts, partly because I can't spend a lot of time typing this: I'm behind on a few projects now.

13. Faster (2010)
I think there is supposed to be a shocking twist ending in this revenge fantasy, but it was pretty obvious in the first 5 minutes of the movie. I still enjoyed the film, but I felt I should have checked my brain at the door.

14. Up in the Air (2009)
A fantastic film. I'm sure some people will find it to be a downer, but I found this movie about a professional hatchet-man who walks through life as through he was wearing a platinum-coated plastic bubble quite life affirming. Highly recommended.

15. The Book of Eli (2010)
Speaking of movies with unnecessary twists, I didn't realize that there was supposed to be a twist in the ending of this film until Trey told me afterwards. I admit that I was distracted while most of this film was running, partially because I had such a hard time buying into the premise. The action scenes were greatly entertaining but the directors seemed far less confident working the dramatic character scenes. I watched the "reveal" twice because I suspected I was missing the closure for Gary Oldman's weakly-defined character. (When Oldman is forced to play a pastiche of previous, better characters, you know the director and writer aren't giving him much help.) Apparently, since the mind-blowing twist wasn't necessary to the film, I wasn't missing anything.

16. Freakonomics (2010)
I stumbled into this documentary anthology about applied economics figuring that I could listen to it while do something else. That worked great for several segments, but the extended bit about the corruption in sumo wrestling had Japanese dialogue and subtitles, forcing me to pay full attention. I don't regret watching it, I just should have chosen something else knowing what I know now.

17. Strange Wilderness (2008)
Steve Zahn, Jonah Hill, Justin Long, Ernest Borgnine: how can you go wrong with this cast in a Happy Madison movie? This movie tries. (It's still funny, but I did feel that an opportunity for greatness was wasted.)

18. Rio (2011)
Really, I think I'm sick of Jesse Eisenberg, and I haven't even watched Social Network yet. (It's on the DVR, but I haven't yet worked up the nerve to watch it.) He seemed totally wrong in the lead role here.

19. Zookeeper (2011)
I was working in the basement when Mom started laughing hysterically upstairs. I rushed upstairs to see what the fun was, and she was watching this movie. Later that week, Dad called me and told me that he had just watched the funniest movie ever: this movie. So I gave in and watched this movie. America, you need help.

20. Grand Hotel (1932)
To recover from Zookeeper, I watched a Hollywood classic. I feel the same way about Grand Hotel that I feel about Ralph Waldo Emerson's essays: by the time it got to me, I'd seen so many derivatives that were superior that the original felt lackluster. The original is not always the best.

21. Mega Shark Versus Crocosaurus (2010)
Okay, so not every movie I watch is going to be a classic. I can live with that. There's still satisfaction in watching Urkel fight a size-changing crocodile with an assualt rifle.

22. Paul (2011)
Trey says that no movie in which a dog is killed is worth watching, so he'd best not watch Paul. The dog is killed at the beginning of the film simply as an excuse to explain why the alien has to get from point A to point B so that there are ample opportunities for misadventures. It's a little irritating once you realize what's going on.
On another note, my favorite part of this movie was Jason Bateman. Last month, Keith asked why I bothered to watch The Switch. My answer was Jason Bateman. He may have let me down there, but he was the main reason I kept watching Paul to the end.

23. The Back-Up Plan (2010)
This is the first movie that I watched that left me in a bad mood. Angry, even. Damn, thinking about it still pisses me off. I yelled at Mother afterwards for selecting this film. (Sorry, Mom. You didn't write, direct, or star in this turd.) Never, ever watch this movie.

24. Howl's Moving Castle (2004)
The antidote to The Back-Up Plan. Cute, engaging entertainment.

25. The Apartment (1960)
I was surprised when this movie made a direct reference to Grand Hotel in the first 20 minutes. Both won Best Picture Oscars, and after digesting this honest film about dishonesty for a few days, I can see why.

26. The Ox-Bow Incident (1943)
I really enjoyed this film. It's like a courtroom drama set in the Old West where the jury is replaced by a lynch mob. Like The Apartment, the years have been kind to it.

27. Cat Ballou (1965)
Jane Fonda is the star of this comedy/musical/western, which isn't as clever as it would like you to think it is going to be. When the entire movie is stolen by a horse that crosses its legs in the last 5 minutes of film, it can't really be called a success. I'm sure some people find this film hysterical, but then again, some people seem to think there's nothing funnier than Zookeeper, either.

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