I beat my own record from February, and caught 33 new-to-me movies in March. The month started slow, but once mom went out of town and I had free access to the television, I was able to make up for lost time. I probably would've done better than that if I hadn't spent so much time on movies that I'd already seen.

It started with Back to the Future. I've seen that movie countless times. I own it. I can quote almost all of Marty McFly's dialogue in the entire film. Watching that film makes me happy, like a drug. Warning kids: recreational drug use always leads to trouble.

This time, the Back to the Future-roofie led me watch a movie I wasn't planning to watch. Because I like Back to the Future so much, I liked the new movie despite my expectations. And then I liked that movie's sequel. And the sequel's sequel and the sequel's sequel's sequel. Despite my best intentions, I just kept watching; Back to the Future had turned me into an addict for Twilight.

57. Twilight (2008)
61. New Moon (2009)
62. The Twilight Saga: Eclipse (2010)
67. The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 1 (2011)

Let me pause here and emphasize that this is not an April Fool's Day post. Seriously, I typically can't stand vampire stories, especially when they try to explain the creatures scientifically. Immortal creatures endlessly masquerading as high school students? I thought high school was bad enough living though it just once; I'd drink blood before I did it again.

Add werewolves to the story, and my interest should plummet further. Creatures who gain and lose incredible mass based on the phase of the moon? That's as believable as the Incredible Hulk. But it was from comic books that I drew the suspension of disbelief required to enjoy these films. A few conspicuously useful super powers used conservatively between a lot of talking about being outcasts? Vampire Edward Cullen and his clan are not significantly different than the X-Men.

More importantly, Twilight does something very, very right by way of Kristen Stewart in the role of *cough* Bella Swan. Insecurely hiding from attention, biting her fingers, chewing her lips, and sulking, she convinced me that she was a high-school student in love. It's endearing. Before the first movie was halfway over, I wanted that girl to end up happy, even if she has to become an undead bloodsucker to do it.

Can I recommend these films to anyone? Probably not. They are slow and self-indulgent. But I liked 'em, and for that I'm blaming Back to the Future: the gateway drug of the movie industry.

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To be continued...

 

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