For Valentine's Day, my mother gave me a sexually suggestive greeting card featuring Batman. In return, I flooded the guest bathroom.

Holy Double Entendre, Batman

The diverter, that little knob that sends the water from the tub spout up to the shower head, wasn't doing its job in my shower. So I did what any semi-competent handyman would do: I decided to fix it. All I had to do was unscrew the spout from the wall and replace it, right? What I didn't recognize at the time was that was the premise for every episode of Home Improvement.

A 4-hour visit from a plumber and 685 dollars later, I have a brand new, fully-functional spout and knob. The water pressure is great! Plus, I still get to do some diy work because I now have to replace the giant square of drywall and 2-by-4s that had to be removed to get to the pipes I broke.

So that's how we do Valentine's Day in my house: wet and inappropriate.

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To be continued...