Welcome to the 6th Annual Wriphe.com Batman and Football Month. Since last year, DC Comics has relaunched their entire line of comics in a desperate bid to stave off complete irrelevancy to the youth of the 21st century. They published their first new comic yesterday, and introduced us to a new Batman, grimmer and grittier than ever.

Batman 2011: I use guns now.

Yes, that's Batman on the left in his new, hi-tech costume sure to appeal to 14-year-old boys, shooting a grappling hook out of a gun through the leg of a... something. Um, ok. I guess that will make someone want to buy this issue.

From 1940 until the 2000s, Batman didn't use guns. Ever. But the kids of today like guns, I guess, so like any good pusher, DC is going where the action is. "Hey kid, want to see Batman shoot a guy? You got it!"

I'm sure that somebody would try to justify this by saying that "it's not a gun because it doesn't shoot bullets!" That excuse, of course, is bullshit. Just because Batman's new gun shoots fancy hooked bullets with strings attached doesn't mean it's not a gun. That's like saying that dripping water up a helpless person's nose isn't torture. Only a super villain would be stupid enough to try to make that argument!

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To be continued...

 

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