Even Michael Bay, director of the highly-anticipated Transformers, thinks that his upcoming film will suck. He was recently quoted in Maxim magazine saying, "we had a test screening in Arizona, and I'm thinking "This movie fucking sucks. It's stupid.' But then we get our highest numbers ever." That's the first good thing that I've heard about the Transformers movie. If Michael Bay thinks it sucks, it just might have some merit.

Granted, Bay has previously said that he wants the Transformers movie to be as realistic as possible, which would make it a dramatic departure from his previous films such as Bad Boys and Armageddon. But who wants to see realistically displayed transforming robots, anyway? I want to go to the movies and relive my childhood, not investigate the inherent fallacy of gigantic, nearly invulnerable alien robots who feel the need to disguise themselves as automobiles and dinosaurs. I'm sure that if Bay made a G.I. Joe film, he'd be investigating the economically oppressive political climate that could give rise to a depth of hatred powerful enough to inspire a man with a severe speech impediment to don a mask and attack the same group of international soldiers again and again as an exercise in self-loathing.

Michael, I want characters that look and act like the toys that are still on my mantlepiece. If I wanted gritty realism, I'd get Eastwood to direct, alright?

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